When they were babies, it was the witching hours – those cranky times before bed when nothing calmed them down. As children grow up, after-school time can become a bottomless pit.
Kindergarteners are too young to sit down and “study” after school and may not have much homework. Parents who work from home and don’t have a support system may offer screen time to children. Older kids may also be forever willing. It makes you feel guilty, inadequate, and worried for their development.
So, what should the kids do in the afternoons? Must you enroll them in a daycare, hire a childminder, or register for a hundred hobby classes? Here are three mom-tested tips that can help to create a balance between free and structured time. The children can be some degree of active and creative; the remaining time they can just be kids!
#1 Mix Up the School Pick-Up Routine
The clock strikes one; you do the school run. When you return to the house, you may have to do similar things every day. You must get snacks ready and baths running, perhaps attempting to tackle some emails and bills. These situations can become monotonous for everyone involved. Why not mix things up when you can?
Some Mumsnet mums recommend stopping at the park on the way home to let the kids expend energy and get a change of scenery. They will be likelier than usual to pursue quiet activities like drawing or reading after coming home. Or, you could fix a day to enjoy ice cream after school. Everyone gets to choose their flavor and share stories while enjoying the treat.
These ideas work well when you have a flexible work routine and can afford to be away for a while. They reassure you of spending quality time conversing and playing with your child. Depending on your neighborhood, you could also integrate other ideas, like going to the library or the supermarket.
Another more drastic way to shake the routine is to have an early dinner. Some parents have found that serving meals after school helps the kids’ moods and makes evenings more pleasant. You can always serve a snack or a mini-meal before bedtime. It can’t harm to try this approach once or twice a week to experience the freshness of change.
#2 Aim for Adventure in Paid Activities
Let’s be honest: You’ll probably need help from a scheduled activity or two to get through the week. The school may offer after-hours coaching for a sport or a foreign language. Your local community center may have drawing, ballet, or martial arts. However, the problem is that over-scheduling your child may prove harmful, besides causing logistical stress.
A recent Science Direct study noted that the last hour of enrichment activities, like extracurriculars or tutoring, is almost zero. That extra hour does not benefit cognitive or non-cognitive skills. Instead, it may incur a heavy opportunity cost of missed sleep and socializing time.
What might work better is scouting for after school programs that focus on adding adventure and excitement to your child’s week. It may only be a couple of classes a week, but the kids will anticipate them happily. For example, instead of a traditional sport, why not enroll the kids in obstacle courses? They will learn to solve challenges in groups, fostering all-round development.
As parents, we should consider the changing dynamics of the world to help our kids be ready for any circumstances. Activities that develop analytical thinking, stress management, and self-esteem can be excellent.
Mission Grit recommends following the SPIRIT framework. It helps children to commit to science and problem-solving through interactive, motion-based pursuits. These activities also promote respect and teamwork.
#3 Create Avenues for Little Children to Play Alone
Presumably, many of us would love to find more time to be the craftsy mum or the storyteller dad. But realistically, being an entertainment center after school may not always be possible. It may also limit how much the kids explore by themselves.
But that doesn’t mean you must arrange playdates every week or feel guilt-tripped about your child “having to” play independently. In 2024, psychologists on Harvard EdCast noted how reclaiming independent play is imperative in these times of excessive parental supervision. When they play alone, children learn to be creative and solve their problems innovatively. This internal locus of control can avoid mental health problems when they grow up.
Since the pandemic compelled many children to spend more time on screens, encouraging free play can take a while. You can start by setting up stations around the house for activities like coloring, doing crafts with safety scissors, or building with construction blocks. Many young kids enjoy messing about with Tupperware or stacking measuring cups in the kitchen.
Over time, kids can learn to play independently with minimal supervision or parental input. The idea is not to avoid playing with them but to empower them to amuse themselves and be self-assured. Some of the best ideas come when we are bored and see that the others are too busy to engage with us.
Childhood can be a golden time for many of us, creating our best memories that will return to us over again. Giving our children a dream childhood can be all-consuming, particularly when you have a busy routine and limited access to help.
Cut yourself some slack. Some weeks will be better – more constructive – than others. Children need both free and structured time to become ready for contemporary challenges. A flexible after-school routine that includes both is a reassuring way to achieve this.
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